Rants and Other Writings
Periodically I get a burr under my saddle and just have to let it out. Other times I'll write something for the heck of it. This page is your gateway to my ramblings.
Bathrooms
Friday, 19 May, 2006
Public bathrooms annoy me. We've been installing indoor plumbing for over 100 years, and yet people still seem to get it wrong. Technological innovations like automatic faucets are more trouble than they're worth, and some people seem unable to use the bathroom as intended. I finally had to get this off my chest.
The Military School Way
Monday, 29 August, 2005
I gave this speech for my Toastmasters club's humorous speech contest. It's a somewhat embellished look at my first day of military school. I didn't win the speech contest, but I had a lot of fun with the speech and learned a lot while writing, practicing, and delivering it.
Lunch 2008
Tuesday, 06 January, 2004
Imagine what a trip to McDonald's will be like in a few years if the Nanny State crowd succeeds in their attempts to more closely control fast food.
Lunch at McDonald's
Monday, 17 December, 2001
McDonald's finest slouches behind the counter staring vacantly out the window, relaxing after the lunch rush. His mouth hangs half open like he's waiting for something to fly in, and his head slowly swivels so that he's looking vaguely in my direction as I approach.
Smokers
Tuesday, 09 February, 1999
As a group, cigarette smokers must be the filthiest and most inconsiderate people in today's society. Something about lighting up must turn normally clean and pleasant people into dirty, smelly, obnoxious semi-human trolls.
Optifuscation
Wednesday, 27 January, 1999
I ran across some code that'd been optimized beyond all recognition, and broken in the process.
Syntaxophilia
Monday, 29 December, 1997
A couple of junior programmers were trying to force me to go in a certain direction with a system design. Fortunately I was smart enough not to go for it.
Rant++
Tuesday, 11 March, 1997
The C++ language has its detractors, and I used to be right there with them. I've mellowed now, as the introduction to this piece points out.
Did You Ever Wonder...
Wednesday, 07 June, 1989
Some years ago, a friend and I exchanged a series of "Did you ever wonder" type questions and answers over Compuserve mail. This collection contains the best examples from that exchange.